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Revolutionize Your Relationship

By Julia Tolliver Maranan

Even the most loving partner does annoying things (yes, you do them too!). Ignore them -- or handle them incorrectly -- and the tension can wreak havoc on an otherwise harmonious relationship. Barry McCarthy, PhD, psychology professor at American University and author of Getting It Right the First Time: Creating a Healthy Marriage (Brunner-Routledge), offers practical solutions to help you handle some of the most common problem spots.

Problem: You ask him to do (or stop doing) something and he doesn't do it.
Relationship Rx: Make a clear request -- not a demand -- and help him prioritize. Chances are, he's not trying to slack off or snub you. He probably just "hears this as one of the ten things you ask [him to do], so it isn't a high priority," says McCarthy. Try ranking your requests on a ten-point scale. That way, when there's something you really want your partner to attend to, you can emphasize in a non-confrontational way how important it is to you. If he can't do it right then, he may even suggest a manageable compromise.
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