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Tame Your Temper

By Margit Ragland

While anger may seem like an uncontrollable emotion that rears its head without much warning, actually, this emotion is fairly well understood by experts. Simply put, people get upset and angry when they don't get what they want, explains Carl Semmelroth, PhD, author of The Anger Habit and The Anger Habit in Parenting (Sourcebooks).
For example, if your child unexpectedly makes a mess just before company arrives, you're likely to get frustrated and angry. In this situation, what you want is a clean house when your friends come over. Or maybe your husband doesn't listen when you try to make weekend plans. At that moment, you want to be heard. Seems reasonable enough, right?

But things start to fall apart if the response to these wants is a hot-tempered one. Anger can be detrimental -- to you and to your relationships. It impacts the entire family. "No other emotion plays such a disruptive role in our lives as anger," says Semmelroth. "When we are angry, our ability to reason, which is necessary for thoughtful decision-making, is impaired." Anger comes at a high price.
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