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Stop Comparing!

By Amanda Pressner

It's no secret that on those days when we are unsure of ourselves, many of us turn to other women to make a comparison. We're probably all guilty of making comparisons between ourselves and others. Spot a new mom who is thin and you might think, "Why can't I lose my baby weight like she did?" Or you might glance at your best friend's new designer jeans and wonder if your own pair looks outdated. You might even compare yourself to famous celebrities. It's hard not to feel inferior after seeing the latest Catherine Zeta-Jones film.

Most of us consider ourselves to be confident, fun, go-getters. So why can't we stop comparing ourselves to friends, co-workers, movie stars, and even total strangers?

"The desire to compare ourselves to others stems from a need for reassurance. We want to be acceptable," says Carolyn DeRoo, author of What's Right with Me (New Harbinger Publications). "The problem is, instead of feeling affirmed, we often end up feeling like we're lacking in some way."

While it's probably unrealistic to stop drawing comparisons altogether, there are ways to do it less often, and even put a positive spin on our observations. Here, our experts offer four steps to subduing your inner critic -- and maybe even changing her tune.
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