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Must We Be Friends?

Whether it's your husband's best friend or the parent of your kid's playmate, sometimes you just have to hang out with someone who, like a bad masseuse, never fails to rub you the wrong way. Here, marriage and family therapist David Schreiber, MA, of Westwood, California offers six ways to cope when you're forced to associate with some of your not-so-favorite people.



Try a group activity
If you have to see someone you'd rather not, make it a group affair by inviting them to a party or out with a bunch of people.

By Elizabeth Hurchalla

Whether it's your husband's best friend or the parent of your kid's playmate, sometimes you just have to hang out with someone who, like a bad masseuse, never fails to rub you the wrong way. Here, marriage and family therapist David Schreiber, MA, of Westwood, California offers six ways to cope when you're forced to associate with some of your not-so-favorite people.

Try a group activity
If you have to see someone you'd rather not, make it a group affair by inviting them to a party or out with a bunch of people. That way, you're not forced to make small talk with them for hours, but you're still honoring the relationship they have with someone important to you.

Make plans for later
If one-on-one time is on the table -- limit it. Go ahead and make a commitment with the difficult person from 10 to 11, but make sure to have something else going on at noon. That way there's a set deadline to your time together.

Get busy
When you ask someone you don't care for to do something, emphasize the do. For instance, on play dates with parents you don't really connect with plan an activity like an art project for the kids rather than just letting them play. Then you can concentrate on your child and the project rather than have to fill open time with the parents. You might also meet less-than-favorite people somewhere that takes the focus off them, such as a farmer's market. That way, since you'll be otherwise occupied, you won't feel you're just blowing your afternoon with someone you don't like.
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