![]() Most Popular Articles
|
Attention Seeking Child May Feel Dethroned: Sylvia Rimm on Raising KidsQ. We have a very bright 7-year-old son who excels in school and is well-liked by his teachers and fellow students. At home, we experience the following: outbursts of strange noises; failure to acknowledge wrongdoing; physical hurtfulness to his brother; defiance and inability to take corrective criticism. When focused on doing something he wants to do, right or wrong, he continues to do so in the midst of being corrected. The list goes on. Any suggestions? By Sylvia Rimm Q. We have a very bright 7-year-old son who excels in school and is well-liked by his teachers and fellow students. At home, we experience the following: outbursts of strange noises; failure to acknowledge wrongdoing; physical hurtfulness to his brother; defiance and inability to take corrective criticism. When focused on doing something he wants to do, right or wrong, he continues to do so in the midst of being corrected. The list goes on. Any suggestions? A. The characteristics you're describing at home sound as if he has a fairly serious problem, but because his school behavior and relationships seem excellent, it's unlikely his problem is quite so worrisome. It may help you to determine how serious your son's problem is by thinking back to him in his earlier childhood before his brother was born. If he was much more positive and had significantly fewer problems in his early years, there's a good chance he has an extreme case of sibling rivalry. I typically describe that as "dethronement." Dethronement usually occurs when a first child has been the center of attention, very bright and verbal, and has been overempowered by adults. When a child has been attention addicted, and then feels attention deprived, he often appears to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), or is simply very attention-seeking. Obviously I can't diagnose your son from a letter, so I'll make a few suggestions that may improve his behavior. If you don't see much improvement, I'd suggest you go to a psychologist for help. 1. Be sure your son gets at least a little one-on-one time with you or his father every day. Also, set up a once a week, special time for a brief excursion. These suggestions are also helpful with normal sibling rivalry, as well as the more extreme variety that you may be describing. Categories: School-Age, Children, ![]() |
![]() |