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Learning to Fight Nice

The argument started when you mentioned that he didn't take out the trash -- again. He made a snappy retort, you both started raising your voices, and several unkind words later, that simple comment blew up into a full scale War of the Roses. After dusting yourself off, you begin to wonder: Can you and your guy ever get through a week without squabbling? Here's how you and your mate can roll with the punches -- without hitting below the belt.

By Amanda Pressner

The argument started when you mentioned that he didn't take out the trash -- again. He made a snappy retort, you both started raising your voices, and several unkind words later, that simple comment about a once a week chore blew up into a full scale War of the Roses. After dusting yourself off, you begin to wonder: Can you and your guy ever get through a week without squabbling?

Maybe. But even if you can avoid some arguments, "trying to prevent conflict altogether is not only unrealistic, it's undesirable," says Linda Sapadin, PhD, author of Master Your Fears: How to Triumph over Your Worries and Get on with Life (Wiley). "Working things out with your mate, negotiating and resolving conflict is absolutely healthy, as long as you do it in a productive way."

Here's how you and your mate can roll with the punches -- without hitting below the belt.

Tune in to your differences Before the next conversation heats up, consider that you probably have different approaches to arguments. Perhaps you easily share what's on your mind and state your frustrations straight out. Your other half may be more passive-aggressive or simply avoid conflict all together.
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